Random overbabbling

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!
I wonder if anyone reads this space anymore. It's fine though since I'm quite happy musing with myself sometimes.

Farley and I are now almost at the 2 year mark. It is something really amazing and new to me, since the umpteen flings and 'romances' before him never lasted beyond 3 months. I used to be really cynical, and treated the male species with disregard and contempt (i.e. like shit). Friends who know me since 2 years back are disbelieving at my abrupt embrace of 'Love' that I once called 'a ton of bullshit with mind games thrown in'.

In 22 months, I gained new perspectives of love, life and myself. On a unnaturally sappy note, which is... well, unnatural for me.

For today, I will touch only on love because at the end of the love part I got tired.

What does Love means to you? When I was young, yes, I dreamt of a cupcake gown and a faceless prince that will whisk me off on a flying carpet. 10 years on, the eyes that once lighted up at the mention of happily ever afters have hardened and narrowed after 17 useless relationships that left me reeling. I was wreary, and while I still adore hollywood's version of love, I know it was never as simple as the all-important three words.

I have found the answer. Love is cunning and deceptive. At the first flush of honeymoon, the elation that fills you up is unquestionably one of the best things Mother Nature invented. Rosy cheeks, the rush that makes you high without any dodgy substances, holding hands and announcing to the whole wide world I HAVE FOUND MINE, I WIN, long phone calls, the feeling that nothing can go wrong. But then comes off the masks, out comes the claws and it's mind games round II - love is a game that whoever loves more loses. For power is in the hands of the one that doesn't care.

I still sound cynical, don't I? Ok here comes the sappy part.

Repeat after me: LOVE IS HARD.

There can be no love without pain. Without it, Love simply cannot exist. The fireworks and hot sex does not last forever. What comes after is maintainence. Love is like the blooming of a flower backwards. You first get to relish and enjoy the beauty of it, and then you have to nuture it, prop it up with barbed wires and invest in expensive fertilisers for it.

Not to worry, it's not as bad as it sounds. More than often, the lightbulb moment comes and you get to see, a stalk of florist-cut rose may be easy and pretty to look at, but a orchard of fresh roses that blooms and grows everyday is the one that will make it all worthwhile.